Stop Procrastinating: Focus on Your Why, Not Your What

You’re Focused On The WRONG Goal: Stop Procrastinating and Actually Achieve Your Dreams

The On Purpose Podcast with Rob Dial | December 28, 2025

Have you ever set a goal, felt a surge of motivation, only to find yourself weeks later stuck in the same place, paralyzed by fear or distraction? You’re not alone. In a powerful conversation between mindset expert Rob Dial and Jay Shetty, a profound truth emerges: we are often focused on the wrong goal. We chase outcomes—money, status, a certain body—without ever digging into the deeper why that fuels sustainable action and genuine fulfillment.

This article delves into the crucial insights from their discussion, unpacking why we get stuck, how to overcome the mental barriers of fear and identity, and the practical steps to shift from being merely motivated to becoming truly driven. If you’re ready to stop procrastinating and start living a life of purpose, read on.

The Core Problem: Chasing the “What” Instead of the “Why”

We all have goals. But according to Rob Dial, the immediate question after setting any goal should not be “how,” but “why.”

“I think if people are like, ‘I want to accomplish this goal,’ the very next question is why. And then go why, why, why, why, why. If your why is so strong, how it’s going to be done, it doesn’t matter. You’ll figure it out.”

We fail to focus because our surface-level goals lack the emotional fuel to power us through inevitable obstacles. The “how” reveals itself only when the “why” is burning bright enough.

Practical Tip: Try the “Seven Levels of Why” exercise. For any goal, ask yourself “why” you want it. Then, take that answer and ask “why” again. Repeat this seven times. You’ll drill down past superficial wants (a nice car, more money) to uncover your core motivation—often tied to safety, love, contribution, or freedom.

Real-Life Example: Rob shares a story of a coaching client who wanted to make $100,000 a year. Through the “why” exercise, it was revealed that his true driver was a deep-seated fear for his children’s safety. He had recently divorced, and his kids lived in a dangerous neighborhood with his ex-wife. His ultimate “why” was to provide a safe home and regain custody. This profound emotional driver was infinitely more powerful than the arbitrary financial goal.

The Twin Barriers to Focus: Fear and False Identity

Two primary forces sabotage our focus: intellectual fear and a rigid sense of self.

1. Intellectual Fear: The Bogeyman in Your Mind

Rob distinguishes between primal fears (pain, death) and intellectual fears, which dominate our modern lives:

Fear of rejection
Fear of failure
Fear of not being accepted
Fear of success

The crucial insight: “You can’t overcome something that doesn’t exist.” These fears are mental constructs. We wake up, create the bogeyman, and then spend all our energy fighting this phantom instead of taking action toward our goal.

Real-Life Example: When starting his podcast, Rob projected his mind into a fearful future: “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I’m not making any money.” His body reacted with stress hormones as if this imagined future were real, creating paralysis.

The Antidote – The Fear Reversal Framework:

“If I’m going to feel the feelings of fear, why don’t I also just try on feeling the feelings of success in getting there?”

When you notice yourself spiraling into a fearful future, consciously pause and project yourself into a positive future. Vividly imagine the best possible outcome and feel the pride, joy, and satisfaction. This isn’t naive positivity; it’s balancing your brain’s natural negativity bias.

The 3-Step Process to Rewire Fear (Awareness, Practice, Repetition):

Awareness: Notice, “I am in a state of fear.”
Practice: Have a ready-to-use tool to break the pattern (e.g., take six deep breaths, connect to your heart, ask “What’s the best that could happen?”).
Repetition: Do this over and over. Neural pathways are built through consistency.

2. The Identity Trap: “Who Do You Think You Are?”

We are often held back by a fixed identity. Rob uses the powerful story of Jim Carrey preparing for his role in Man on the Moon. Carrey fully embodied Andy Kaufman for four months, never breaking character, to the point where he lost his sense of self. This led to a spiritual awakening: “If I can lose Jim Carrey, then who the hell is Jim Carrey?”

He realized that “Jim Carrey” was just a character he’d been playing. This illustrates a liberating truth: your current identity is not fixed. You can choose to “act as” the person who achieves the goal you desire.

The Takeaway: Your identity is malleable. You are not your thoughts or your past self. When you think, “I’m not a confident public speaker,” you’re letting a story hold you back. You can decide to act as if you are confident, and through repeated action, it becomes integrated.

From Motivated to DRIVEN: Cultivating an Unstoppable “Why”

Motivation is fleeting. It’s the spark. Drive is the sustained fire. The difference is a deep, emotional “why.”

Practical Tip: To build drive, connect your goal to something greater than yourself—providing for your family, contributing to a cause, creating a legacy of safety or opportunity. As Rob’s first coach told him: “If your why is strong enough, your how will reveal itself.”

Real-Life Example (Rob’s Turning Point): In 2015, filled with fear about his new podcasting path, Rob found a letter from his late father. The last line read: “I hope you live your life with courage, love and laughter.” He took this as a cosmic nudge. He got the phrase tattooed on his arm as a commitment to cut off all other options (the root of “decision” is decidere, to cut off). His “why” evolved from wanting success to honoring his father’s un-lived life and living courageously to help others. This deeper purpose fueled his drive through years of uncertainty.

The Spiritual Pivot: Finding Peace in the Process

A surprising twist in the journey is that achieving external goals often doesn’t fill the internal void. Rob achieved financial success but felt the same: “I don’t feel any more secure. I don’t feel any happier… What I realized is what I was searching for from the external world is actually what I was searching for for myself.”

This leads to the most profound upgrade: shifting from frantic doing to peaceful being. True focus emerges from a place of inner stillness, not anxiety.

How to Cultivate This Inner Space (Rob’s Practice):

Create Silence: Intentionally schedule time with no phone, no noise. Sit in silence, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Get Curious, Not Critical: When anxiety arises in the silence, don’t run. Ask, “What is this feeling? Why is it here?” as Krishnamurti advised: “Learn yourself,” don’t “know yourself.”
Allow Release: Like animals that shake to release trauma after a stressful event, allow your body to release emotion. This might mean crying, journaling, or simply sitting with the feeling until it passes.

The Balance: This isn’t about quitting goals. It’s about pursuing them from a heart-centered place rather than a fear-based, white-knuckled one. Action becomes an expression of creativity, not a desperate attempt to prove your worth.

Practical Roadmap: From Procrastination to Action

Let’s synthesize the insights into a clear, actionable table.

The Focus Upgrade Roadmap

Stage	The Wrong Goal (You’re Here If…)	The Right Goal (Upgrade To…)	Action Step
1. Foundation	Chasing a vague “what” (e.g., “make more money”).	Discovering your deep “Why” using the 7-Levels exercise.	Write down your goal. Ask “Why?” 7 times. Find the core emotional driver.
2. Mindset	Being “motivated” by external validation.	Becoming driven by an internal, emotional purpose.	Connect your “why” to serving others or a future version of yourself.
3. Overcoming Barriers	Fighting “intellectual fears” as if they are real.	Recognizing fears as mental fog; practicing Fear Reversal.	Use the 3-step Awareness-Practice-Repetition model when fear hits.
4. Identity	Believing “I am not someone who can do X.”	Adopting the “act as if” principle of a growth identity.	Ask: “How would the version of me who has achieved this goal act today?”
5. Sustainability	Burning out from constant striving and anxiety.	Cultivating inner peace through silence and self-connection.	Schedule 5 minutes of daily silence. Observe thoughts without attachment.

Mastering Your Mental Patterns: The Key to Lasting Change

Both Rob and Jay emphasize that our lives are shaped by our most repeated thought. Most people are either unaware of theirs, or it’s a negative loop like “I’m not good enough.”

How to Change Your Thought Patterns:

Awareness Through Detachment: Practice seeing thoughts like cars passing on a road. You observe them (“there’s the ‘I’m a failure’ thought”) without getting in the car.
The Second Thought Rule: “You can’t control your first thought, but you can control your second.” When a negative first thought arises, consciously choose a better second thought.
The Judgment Exercise: When Rob caught himself judging a stranger, his practice was to immediately think of three things he liked about the person. Repeated over time, this rewired his first thought from judgment to acceptance.

The Thought Transformation Process

Step	Action	Example
1. Catch	Notice the recurring, unhelpful thought.	“I always procrastinate on important tasks.”
2. Detach	Label it as just a thought, not truth.	“Ah, there’s the ‘procrastination story’ again.”
3. Interrupt	Deploy a pre-planned “second thought.”	“But I am capable of taking small steps right now.”
4. Replace	Consciously install a new, empowering belief.	“I am someone who takes purposeful action.”
5. Embody	Act as if the new belief is true.	Open the document and write one paragraph.

Final Wisdom: The Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Rob shares two pivotal lessons that crystallize the entire journey:

The Lesson He Wishes He Learned Earlier: “What you’re searching for externally, you’re actually searching for yourself.” Love, acceptance, and security must be built internally; no achievement can provide it.
The Lesson Learned the Hard Way: “You can’t do it all on your own.” Strength is in asking for help and building a supportive team—in business and in life.

The Ultimate Habit: When asked for the one daily habit that changed his life, Rob points to meditation and breathwork—creating space for self-awareness. He even proposes that if there were one global law, it would be to take five minutes daily for self-awareness, believing it would solve most of the world’s problems.

Your Call to Action

Stop focusing on the superficial goal. Today, do this:

Pick one goal that’s felt stuck.

Ask “Why?” seven times. Dig until you hit emotional bedrock.
Spend five minutes in silence. Don’t fight the fears that arise; just observe them. Then, vividly imagine the feeling of having already succeeded.
Take one tiny action that the “future you” would take.

As Rob Dial’s book title declares, it’s time to Level Up. The upgrade isn’t just in your outcomes, but in your focus, your mindset, and your connection to your own deepest purpose. The power isn’t in the goal itself; it’s in the unstoppable person you become by pursuing it for the right reasons.